All
we have is the present. Our future, if it might exist, is a mere proposition of
whose eventual reality none of us can be sure, may only be imagined, until it
arrives, when it becomes the present. Then, like every present, it instantly
passes us by into our past, a fragile, self-interested fiction we are condemned
to recreate, to reimagine via a memory capable of invention. All experience
thus becomes malleable, capable of being reshaped to fit whatever mould into
which we might desire to contain it. Though we might often want to deny the
tangibility of the present, its reality still pains the toe that kicks the
stone, whereas memory anaesthetises time remembered and allows any surgical
intervention to create whatever painless past we desire.
After
six volumes of re-creating the past in “A la recherche de temps perdu”, Marcel
Proust entitled the last work in the series, at least in English, “Time
Regained”. It is worth remembering, however, that a literal translation of
Proust’s series title refers to ‘lost time’, experience possibly mislaid, or
even wasted in a continuing past. But that time can indeed be regained,
reimagined, recreated, and it takes a person with a mission to carry out the
threat, a mission that itself becomes a new present, which can be
transformative. I was no longer indifferent when I returned from Rivebelle;
I felt myself enlarged by this work I bore within me (like something precious
and fragile, not belonging to me, which had been confided to my care and which
I wanted to hand over intact to those for whom it was destined). And to think
that when, presently, I returned home, an accident would suffice to destroy my
body and that my lifeless mind would have for ever lost the ideas it now
contained and anxiously preserved within its shaky frame before it had time to
place them in safety within the covers of a book. Now, knowing myself the
bearer of such a work, an accident which might cost my life was more to be
dreaded, was indeed (by the measure in which this work seemed to me
indispensable and permanent) absurd, when contrasted with my wish, with my
vital urge, but not less probable on that account since accidents due to
material causes can take place at the very moment when an opposing will, which
they unknowingly annihilate, renders them monstrous, like the ordinary accident
of knocking over a water-jug placed too near the edge of a table and thus
disturbing a sleeping friend one acutely desires not to waken. And, while
accidents can happen, the creation of several thousand pages of recreated past
cannot be achieved by accident, but only in the doing, the regular application
of re-creation in whatever present remains.
And,
after seven volumes of this life recreated, a reader is left to marvel at how
small it was, how insignificant these important people eventually became and
how small a universe they themselves imagined, let alone inhabited. To describe
the procession of attitudes as petty might be ascribing greater consequence
than it deserves. And, for all their airs and graces, for all their wealth,
property and influence, these upper-class subjects were most at home when
indulging their personal predilections in their eternal present, tastes that
were sometimes as mundane as eating a snack and at other times distinctly more
individual, though no more significant.
Take
for example, the war memories of Mme. Verdurin. On the morning the papers
headlined the sinking of the Lusitania, she clearly had her own enduring
priorities. …they thought about those hecatombs of annihilated regiments, of
engulfed seafarers, but an inverse operation multiplies to such a degree what
concerns our welfare and divides by such a formidable figure what does not
concern it, that the death of millions of unknown people hardly affects us more
unpleasantly than a draught. Mme Verdurin, who suffered from headaches on
account of being unable to get croissants to dip into her coffee, had obtained
an order from Cottard which enabled her to have them made in the restaurant
mentioned earlier. It had been almost as difficult to procure this order from
the authorities as the nomination of a general. She started her first croissant
again on the morning the papers announced the wreck of the Lusitania. Dipping
it into her coffee, she arranged her newspaper so that it would stay open without
her having to deprive her other hand of its function of dipping, and exclaimed
with horror, "How awful! It's more frightful than the most terrible
tragedies." But those drowning people must have seemed to her reduced a
thousand-fold, for, while she indulged in these saddening reflections, she was
filling her mouth and the expression on her face, induced, one supposes, by the
savour of the croissant, precious remedy for her headache, was rather that of
placid satisfaction.
And
what about the moral rectitude (no pun intended) of these pillars of society?
Always ready to cite themselves as examples of behaviour in order to enlighten
the labouring, and thus less than worthy classes, sometimes these elite,
privileged classes plumbed the depths of their own depravity whilst no doubt
simultaneously passing moral judgment on the tastes of those below them. Aberrations
are like passions which a morbid strain has overlaid, yet, in the craziest of
them love can still be recognised. M. de Charlus' insistence that the chains
which bound his feet and hands should be of attested strength, his demand to be
tried at the bar of justice and, from what Jupien told me, for ferocious
accessories there was great difficulty in obtaining even from sailors (the
punishment they used to inflict having been abolished even where the discipline
is strictest, on ship-board), at the base of all this there was M. de Charlus'
constant dream of virility proved, if need be, by brutal acts and all the
illumination the reflections of which within himself though to us invisible, he
projected on judicial and feudal tortures which embellished an imagination
coloured by the Middle Ages. This sentiment was in his mind each time he said
to Jupien: "There won't be any alarm this evening anyhow, for I can
already see myself reduced to ashes by the fire of Heaven like an inhabitant of
Sodom," and he affected to be frightened of the Gothas not because he
really had the smallest fear of them but to have a pretext the moment the
sirens sounded of dashing into the shelter of the Metropolitain, where he hoped
to get a thrill from midnight frictions associated in his mind with vague
dreams of prostrations and subterranean dungeons in the Middle Ages. Finally
his desire to be chained and beaten revealed, with all its ugliness, a dream as
poetic as the desire of others to go to Venice or to keep dancing girls. And M.
de Charlus held so much to the illusion of reality which this dream gave him
that Jupien was compelled to sell the wooden bed which was in room No. 43, and
replace it by one of iron which went better with the chains.
But
perhaps we should not judge, merely exist in an eternal present, free from
recollection, reinterpretation and, of course, from comparison. A work in
which there are theories is like an object upon which the price is marked.
Further, this last only expresses a value which, in literature, is diminished
by logical reasoning. We reason, that is, our mind wanders, each time our
courage fails to force us to pursue an intuition through all the successive
stages which end in its fixation, in the expression of its own reality. The
reality that must be expressed resides, I now realised, not in the appearance
of the subject but in the degree of penetration of that intuition to a depth
where that appearance matters little, as symbolised by the sound of the spoon
upon the plate, the stiffness of the table-napkin, which were more precious for
my spiritual renewal than many humanitarian, patriotic, international
conversations. More style, I had heard said in those days, more literature of
life. One can imagine how many of M. de Norpois' simple theories "against
flute-players" had flowered again since the war. For all those who,
lacking artistic sensibility, that is, submission to the reality within, may be
equipped with the faculty of reasoning for ever about art, and even were they
diplomatists or financiers associated with the "realities" of the
present into the bargain, they will readily believe that literature is a sort
of intellectual game which is destined to be eliminated more and more in the
future. Some of them wanted the novel to be a sort of cinematographic
procession. This conception was absurd. Nothing removes us further from the
reality we perceive within ourselves than such a cinematographic vision.
But
perhaps, in our age of the demonstrable, the provable, the reproducible, the
cinematographic vision provided by a photographic memory might just be an
advantage, especially when our memory or perhaps our understanding plays
tricks. The library which I should thus collect would have a greater value
still, for the books I read formerly at Combray, at Venice, enriched now by
memory with spacious illuminations representing the church of Saint-Hilaire,
the gondola moored at the foot of San Giorgio Maggiore on the Grand Canal
incrusted with flashing sapphires, would have become worthy of those
medallioned scrolls and historic bibles which the collector never opens in
order to read the text but only to be again enchanted by the colours with which
some competitor of Fouquet has embellished them and which constitute all the
value of the work. Does anyone care if San Giorgio Maggiore is not actually
where the author remembers it? Perhaps, we may presume, that he is merely
confusing it with Santa Maria della Salute, whose whiteness and elegance ought
to carry the attachment “maggiore” in proportion to the impression it makes
upon a visitor’s memory. And, in an age of mass consumption and marketing, do
any of us scoff at the use of “the greatest”, “the best” or “five star” when it
is habitually associated with the mundane mass-produced products of Capitalism?
And precisely when was the last time you heard a new pop singer described as
“original”, and was such a label accurate? Clearly, there is room for fiction
in the present, and, because we are all eventually flawed, what can be wrong
with inaccuracy in memory? The impression was received as expressed and it is
the indefinable emotion that was real, not the name of the thing that provoked
it. But from the moment that works of art are judged by reasoning, nothing
is stable or certain, one can prove anything one likes. Whereas the reality of
genius is a benefaction, an acquisition for the world at large, the presence of
which must first be identified beneath the more obvious modes of thought and
style, criticism stops at this point and assesses writers by the form instead
of the matter. It consecrates as a prophet a writer who, while expressing in
arrogant terms his contempt for the school which preceded him, brings no new
message. This constant aberration of criticism has reached a point where a
writer would almost prefer to be judged by the general public (were it not that
it is incapable of understanding the researches an artist has been attempting
in a sphere unknown to it). And here Proust yearns for the kind of judgment
that can only be gleaned from sales figures, the kind of evaluation that makes
burger and beans washed down with carbon dioxide pressurised burnt sugar
solution apparently the ideal food. The publicist involuntarily associates
the rascals he has castigated with his own celebrity… but there is a
difference between a memory tricked and a deliberate attempt to falsify, to
offer cliché to apparently eager market.
But
not to judge would excise the reality of memory and with it the raison d’etre
of the writer. He (for this author is a “he”) who pontificates from distance,
both physical and temporal, imposes possibly invented opinion on those he
cannot wait to judge. And, from the safety of temporal distance, that judgment
is often driven by jealousy. Jealousy is a good recruiting sergeant who,
when there is an empty space in our picture, goes and finds the girl we want in
the street. She may not be pretty at first, but she soon fills the blank and
becomes so when we get jealous of her. But whatever the motive for changing
how we view our recollections, the act of trying to communicate them can lead
to a process of clarification, albeit via avenues where we deliberately
embellish them. It is uncertain
whether in the creation of a literary work the imagination and the sensibility
are not interchangeable and whether the second, without disadvantage, cannot be
substituted for the first just as people whose stomach is incapable of
digesting entrust this function to their intestines. An innately sensitive man
who has no imagination could, nevertheless write admirable novels. The
suffering caused him by others and the conflict provoked by his efforts to
protect himself against them, such experiences interpreted by the intelligence
might provide material for a book as beautiful as if it were imagined and
invented and as objective, as startling and unexpected as the author's
imaginative fancy would have been, had he been happy and free from persecution.
The stupidest people unconsciously express their feelings by their gestures and
their remarks and thus demonstrate laws they are unaware of which the artist
brings to light.
But
it might even be the present that is defective. We encounter people we once
knew, whom we have fixed in our memory with particular and recognisable
attributes. Then years pass and we meet again. We recognise them, but at the
same time they are transformed by age into something that contradicts the
reality our memory has fixed. It’s a two-way process. As I went near to him,
he said with a voice I well remembered: "What a joy for me after so many
years!" but what a surprise for me! His voice seemed to be proceeding from
a perfected phonograph for though it was that of my friend, it issued from a
great greyish man whom I did not know and the voice of my old comrade seemed to
have been housed in this fat old fellow by means of a mechanical trick. Yet I
knew that it was he, the person who introduced us after all that time not being
the kind to play pranks. He declared that I had not changed by which I grasped
that he did not think he had. Then I looked at him again and except that he had
got so fat, he had kept a good deal of his former personality.
Time
passes, people pass away, become part of the past, a past that continues. The
living can then say what they really thought all along, without ever previously
having the courage to come clean, a state they probably never did, nor ever
will attain. Hearing that Mme d'Arpajon was really dead, the old maid cast
an alarmed glance at her mother fearing that the news of the death of one of
her contemporaries might be a shock to her; she imagined in anticipation people
alluding to her own mother's death by explaining that "she died as the
result of a shock through the death of Mme d'Arpajon." But on the
contrary, her mother's expression was that of having won a competition against
formidable rivals whenever anyone of her own age passed away. Their death was
her only means of being agreeably conscious of her own existence. The old maid,
aware that her mother had not seemed sorry to say that Mme d'Arpajon was a
recluse in those dwellings from which the aged and tired seldom emerge, noticed
that she was still less upset to hear that the Marquise had entered that
ultimate abode from which no one returns. This affirmation of her mother's
indifference aroused the caustic wit of the old maid. And, later on, to amuse
her friends, she gave a humorous imitation of the lively fashion with which her
mother rubbed her hands as she said: "Goodness me, so that poor Mme
d'Arpajon is dead." She thus pleased even those who did not need death to
make them glad they were alive. For every death is a simplification of life for
the survivors; it relieves them of being grateful and of being obliged to make
visits.
And
such caustic observation is not surprising, since the author of these judgments
suffered permanent disability, illness, relative disadvantage in the
competition of life that was conjured by these recreations from those with whom
he mixed. And his revenge was to remember, to describe, perhaps to invent.
Eventually he would hold the pen and write, an activity of which no-one thought
him capable. Thus he created his own past in an evolving present which may
become our own as we share his gift.